


Cause and Effect

by anr



Category: Stargate Atlantis RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-16
Updated: 2009-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-23 04:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anr/pseuds/anr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody protested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cause and Effect

  


* * *

  


Sometimes, she thinks about beginnings. About catalysts and origins and all the possible reasons why. She remembers hiatus, and how he kissed her on stage in front of cast and crew and fans, and how nobody protested.

She maybe remembers that last part a little too much.

  


* * *

  


David invites them all over once they're back at work. It's low-key, and casual -- cast only, no crew -- and she spends a good hour or so talking shoes with Rachel and David. The others are in the kitchen discussing football and missed marks, families and baseball stats. More than once she hears references to what the others got up to over the break.

Joe offers to pick up the pizzas from the specialty restaurant in town and, before she knows it, Jason has offered for her to go with him. They spend most of the drive talking about next week's filming schedule, and the scenes they have together, but she's surprised by how distracted she feels. For the first time she is hyperaware of the scent of his aftershave, and the soft creak of his leather jacket when he shifts in his seat, the way his fingers keep tapping on the steering wheel when they stop for red lights.

The pizzas aren't ready yet and the girl behind the counter guesses another fifteen minutes. Joe suggests a walk around the block while they wait, and she agrees because there's a guy sitting in the chairs who's staring like he _knows_ them and, with the way she's feeling, she's really not in the mood for autographs.

Halfway round the block, Joe's fingers brush against hers, and she catches his hand without thinking. Their fingers tangle.

Twenty-seven steps later, on an impulse she does not want to explain, she tugs him into the shadows of an alley and kisses him against a brick wall. He buries his hands in her hair, and her hips press into his. His tongue is in her mouth, and her fingers are digging into his shoulder blades.

When they return to the restaurant, their pizzas are going cold.

  


* * *

  


Afterwards, she tosses around words like _adultery_ and _home-wrecker_ and _other woman_ , but dismisses them as soon as they catch.

She rationalises: it was just a kiss (or two). it was just acting. it wasn't sex.

She forgets: foreplay. they're not method actors. not yet.

Though she knows she should, she doesn't tell herself it won't happen again.

  


* * *

  


They're halfway through the week's filming when he finds her reciting lines to herself behind the catering truck.

"I want to kiss you," he says, too quietly for the craft services guys to hear, and her stomach flips. She thinks that's the most unexpected greeting she's ever had.

That she can't say the same for her answer, however, might be a problem. "I want you to."

He takes a step closer, and she does the same, and then David's voice freezes the moment.

"There you two are," he says, sticking his head around the side of the truck. "William's ready again."

"Great," she says, forcing a bright smile.

"Yeah," says Joe. "Great."

When they turn and start following David back to the set, she's careful not to walk too close.

  


* * *

  


He forgets his script and asks to borrow hers. She's already finished for the week -- has only come in for a voice-over fix -- and they're chatting about the latest gas prices as they head to her trailer. (She thinks she should get a more economical car; he suggests she take up skateboarding.)

Once inside, she finds him the script, and offers him a coffee, and doesn't even blink when he crowds her against the flimsy table and kisses her long, and deep, and breathless.

When they finally part, he's late for makeup and her cell's rung out twice.

She almost doesn't care.

  


* * *

  


The producers leak a smattering of spoilers to the fans and Rachel insists on celebrating -- they all know there'll be a backlash once the episodes actually air, but for now the fans are still eager and positive. They reserve one of the VIP rooms at the Gecko Club, and even though they all agreed to an early night -- the guys have seven am starts the next morning -- somehow she's not too surprised when midnight comes and goes.

Jason and Rachel disappear onto the dance floor when David and Paul start rehashing the latter's farewell episode, and while she has no desire to dance, she isn't too keen on joining the discussion either. In the end she retreats to a shadowy corner of the main room from where she can just see Rachel and Jason. They look like they're having fun.

"Dollar for 'em."

She smiles, and blames the sudden flutter in her stomach on the sangria she drank with dinner. "What happened to a penny?"

"Inflation." He steps into the shadows and leans against the wall beside her. "You okay?"

She nods, and then points to where Rachel is circling Jason. "Just watching. They move well together."

He shrugs. "Well, they do get a lot of practice."

"True."

He shifts a little, his arm brushing against hers, and the contact scatters her thoughts easily. She exhales slowly, counts down from ten, and then turns to look at him. "Joe..."

He's already looking at her, and his expression erases whatever it was she was going to say. "Torri."

 _Ten_ , she thinks desperately. _Nine_. He steps away from the wall and turns into her space. _Eight, seven, six_. One hand finds the wall beside her head; his other catches her wrist and drags slowly up her arm. _Fivefourthree -- fuck it_. She reaches out, her hand finding his hip and dragging him closer, and meets his kiss halfway.

He smiles against her mouth, and for a moment that throws her more than the insanity that is kissing him in the first place. She almost laughs.

"This is crazy," she whispers, and he brushes his lips over hers softly.

"I know."

  


* * *

  


Two days later, Joe texts her at three-am in the morning: _I don't know what to think anymore_.

She curls around her pillow, wide awake suddenly and heart pounding, and stares at the message. Stares at it for so long that the battery warning begins to flash. She remembers the taste of his mouth and the touch of his skin and feels so very, very guilty. This is not what she wanted.

Then she imagines him in bed beside her and feels... other things. She texts back: _neither do I_.

  


* * *

  


She gets to work late and finds everyone grouped around the craft services table, toasting little plastic cups that hold what looks suspiciously like champagne.

"We win an Emmy or something?" she asks Jason with a smile, automatically accepting the cup one of the crew passes her.

"Joe called," he says, draping an arm around her shoulder, "Kathy had the baby this morning."

Her stomach hits the floor.

"That's fantastic," she says with a grin, lips stretching wide enough to hurt. She raises her cup as if to take a sip. "That's awesome."

"Yep, a baby boy." Jason keeps his arm around her shoulder, warm and heavy. "Fergus, he said they're calling him."

"That's terrific." She feels cold suddenly, her chest too tight. She can't stop smiling. "That's great."

She's absurdly grateful when Jason doesn't let her go.

  


* * *

  


It's not a surprise, really it's not -- for all her denial, she _knew_ he was married and that he and his wife were expecting another baby.

She just didn't realise reality would hurt so goddamned much.

  


* * *

  


She kisses Joe in the late afternoon, the sun blinding as it sets in her eyes. They're in the parking lot, the last to leave on his first day back at work, and what was meant to be just a brief brush of her cheek against his (an air-kiss goodbye and nothing more) spirals rapidly out of control. She thinks, inanely, _seeing is believing_ , and since she can't see, well...

When he pushes her back against the side of her car, she drops her keys, her phone, and the paperwork that confirms her exit from the show.

"Torri." His mouth brushes the curve of her jaw, her cheek, her lips. "Invite me over."

She pulls him closer and slides her thigh between his. " _Come over_."

  


* * *

  


Sometimes, she thinks about endings too.

  


* * *

The End

**Author's Note:**

> ORIGINAL URL: <http://anr.livejournal.com/351521.html>


End file.
